As a kid I loved viewing the radical colorful shapes forming at the end of my cousin’s toy kaleidoscope.
No one image was ever repeated, the geometric color shapes were vivid, divinely randomly arranged, the symphony of colors set my imagination ablaze. I felt alive every time I looked inside that tube of wonder. Sadly, it was not my kaleidoscope to keep and when I had to return it a sense of loss preceded it. This was followed by moments of anticipation wondering if I would ever be able to see again into the magical tube.
During this period of my childhood my home life was filled with incredible sadness, moments of terror and a nagging sense of desperation mixed with helplessness. Five minutes looking into what I have affectionally called the tube of wonder gave the passageway to escape into a universe of lyrical color. My imagination exploded as I ponder if the shapes I was seeing were stars reshaping themselves into magnificent clusters of color or maybe they were the most colorful tiles of glass that have ever existed.
I clearly remember my most cherished memory is the way I felt as I investigated the end of that wonder tube; I felt freedom, amused, incredibly happy and had absolutely no fear for those few moments.
Here I am, a middle-aged human. Thinking and writing about a magical toy kaleidoscope. Yet, I know many of you who read my lines have a similar toy story that helped you survive your childhood war zone. The war that was made possible by some of the most trusted adults in your life.
Something spiritual happened to me gazing into the tube of wonder; I can only describe it as if the goodness of the Universe was depositing in me a reservoir of happiness and a salve of wonder to help me survive the coming years of violent trauma fueled by alcoholism and all the isms that come with it.
Broken glass reflects our life, colorful powerful shapes take place, be careful our edges are sharp. We are light, we are us. We are a powerful colorful symphony of music played in magnificently kaleidoscopic shapes of broken glass.